odd, this not really having any definite plans for tomorrow...

i've declared myself unambitious recently, but maybe that is part of the goal. to conduct my life in such a way that the prospect of a free day brings on a sense of heady delight and freedom rather than dread of boredom... while not eliminating such days entirely. it's a form of balance.

i lost a week of local, normal time. i got sick, stayed home for two days, loaded up on tylenol enough to work through one, then headed to soflex across four. coming back fuzzy-headed and out of the loop. but still delighted.

i tossed the more expensive half of my plane ticket. convoluted story, but it didn't really matter -- i got back as soon as i would've. and deepened a couple friendships in the process. this sort of thing matters.

i've had lousy luck asking people about their experiences during the week i was missing... sick, spent the weekend in severe back pain, lost a parent. i was fishing for happy long-weekend adventures that i could casually one-up with stories of running off the dance floor to the beach and coming back to dance some more sopping wet. dancing can't fix everything. i wish hugs could.

dancing does fix a lot, though. someday i'll get around to writing it out, the "why i dance" essay that lurks around at the edges, just beyond things i have words for.

today was quarterly corporate "mandatory fun." ice skating, this time. we played broomball, and the local curling club gave us a little introduction to curling. who knew knoxville had a curling club? i found myself smiling in recognition -- i'm every bit as serious and geeky about a pursuit that makes very little sense to those outside it. then freeskating... i always loved skating, more rollerskating and rollerblading (i'm southern, after all), but mostly the feeling of gliding along... it was all good, then a chain of people skates by. i nearly yell an obnoxious comment about it being against the rink rules, decide to hold my tongue. a co-worker falls and breaks her nose. blood spattering on the ice. the afternoon shatters.

on to sleeping for a long, long night. because i can.